The beginning of the END.

After a much needed Hiatus, I am back..refreshed and ready to face another SL day…Who the hell am I kidding…

My RL exploded and took my SL with it. I am not a bullshit blogger that wants to paint everything in the best light and perfect mesh jeans..( I do love perfect mesh jeans.) kandee17test_005

Love and all the pain that comes with it..can fuck right off..

Honestly who needs sexy pixels anyway ( obviously me..@@) So back into the dating world I was, alone and naked..not really naked..ok naked.

Sitting on a beach full of mesh bodies good and bad ones..too little heads and too big bodies all with the same pick up lines..and better yet pleads of please touch my mesh prim and I will love you long time. Oh the Joys of dating..

In times like these it is your friends and family that gives you the advice and a firm kick in the butt you need.  To my friends and family that put up with me during my darkest hour..

I thank you..and so does my therapist.

xoxoxo Kandee.

 

The Raven-Halloween in Inworldz

“Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door —
Only this, and nothing more.”

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Featured Sim Bloodmoon Manor

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; — vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow — sorrow for the lost Lenore —
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore —
Nameless here for evermore.

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And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me — filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door —
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; —
This it is, and nothing more.”

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Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you”— here I opened wide the door; —
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, “Lenore?”
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, “Lenore!” —
Merely this, and nothing more.

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Matahari Style Spindra Dress with texture change Jewellery

Courtesy of Designer Tanya Matahari.

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Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
Surely,” said I, “surely that is something at my window lattice:
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore —
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; —
‘Tis the wind and nothing more.

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Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door —
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door —
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore.
Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,” I said, “art sure no craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the Nightly shore —
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore!”
Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.”

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Much I marveled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning— little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blest with seeing bird above his chamber door —
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as “Nevermore.”

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Oh the places.

“You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.”
-Dr Seuss

My adventures at Larry’s Place, Created by the talented Larry Csak.

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“But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.”

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“Somehow you’ll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You’ll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing”.

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“On and on you will hike
and I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.”

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“You’ll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life’s
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.”

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Summer Love

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Finally here,the season we all love is officially here.

Beaches,Picnics,fun summer days and even longer summer nights.

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My favorite summer memories involve music,sitting at the lake and laughing into the night with my friends. I think everyone has a summer playlist with just that one song that makes you tear up or smirk with a devious smile.

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What is it about this season?

The sand on our feet?

Flip flop weather?

Whatever it is..

We Love it!

Welcome to Summer everyone.

 

Never Ever.

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Reflection and quiet times bring change in ones heart,one night after reading an article a stranger from my past appeared. Bringing with him joy and much pain from a very private part of my heart. I am never the one to back peddle, it was a fun part of my life and a part I cherish but not every part of the past should be in your present. I decided to put my heart first this time and let go which ironically hurt just as much as letting go the first time. I opened my heart and watched it spill out on this blog and guess what I am releasing that pain into the atmosphere, let my love and lesson service someone else.

These words help soothe me and allow me to move forward.

Looking Back…

I let go of the past, live in the now and let the future unfold on its own.

I no longer focus on the negative events in my past, but rejoice in the pleasures of the present moment.

Past events no longer influence my life; I live fully in each moment.

I live in the present the past is gone and no longer plays a part my life.

I let go of past hurts and open my heart to the joy of now.

The pain has to stop…

I let go of hurtful words and hear and speak of only loving kindness.

I release the pain of rejection and live in the joy of the present moment.

I no longer dwell on past hurtful events; I see only the light and love in my life now.

I let go of past resentment and embrace the joy in every present moment.

Out of pain, comes compromise…

I recognize my feelings of resentment and release them.

I let go of the resentment from past events and see life from the heart.

I release my resentment towards others and take control of my life.

I need to Forgive..

I let go of the guilt I hold from past behavior and move on.

I release all feelings of guilt from my past and open my heart to love.

I do what is best for me without guilt.

I release useless guilt and put my energy into living my life

and making decisions from the heart with love.

I forgive you

I release the anger from my past and replace it with love in the present.

I allow my anger to melt away leaving only calm and serenity in this moment.

I let go of anger; I go with the flow.

I replace the destructive emotion of anger with a calm and thoughtful frame of mind.

To my old self and those I loved:

I needed to let go. I need you to let me let go.

Letting go does not mean, I will stop loving you.

It means I have learned to love myself more.

Thank you…

For loving me enough to let me go.

xoxo Kandee xoxox

Crash..Boom..POW !!!

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ACW Wrestling!

Great time had by all, great matches. Nothing makes me happier than taunting the bad guys especially if their name is Weiner. Great organization and awesome stage show effects it mimics the professional real life matches of a popular wrestling federation.

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Time Out!

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I admit it.. I am a picture hoarder.

These pictures are from a Sim I discovered last year called Time Out. I had a blast exploring the Sim and its blend of different styles and places to chill out. Everything from a peace pond to a haunted mansion on a hill, complete with skulls to warn a heart stopping BEWARE. It was a wonderful discovery, I would love to find more Sims like this to explore that are not sexually orientated. Since Secondlife is not lacking in those.

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Xoxoxoxo

Virtually Me, Kandee